There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Randomize
