We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
