Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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