i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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