Who wears a wallet chain?!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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