Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
