No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
