After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
