i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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