What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
