Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
