I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
