5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
