There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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