we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize