I am in a vortex of obligation.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize