What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I party with great urgency now.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
