Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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