Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
