I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Text me some of your sweat
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
