took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
vagina is talking i cant
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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