So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize