how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Couch. On fire.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
