hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
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