Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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