Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
