Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Found your dick twin last night
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Randomize