we're blogging at a bar
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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