they need to just BURY HIM!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
