Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
