I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I lost the right to judge tonight
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
