we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
