Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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