what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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