apparently the secret to your success is patron
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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