I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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