I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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