don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
