i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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