Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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