found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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