Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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