Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
