Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
