I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
