We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
