The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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