Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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