"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
