worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize