i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
