Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
