The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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