I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
