Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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