Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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