I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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