i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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