oh god the rape fog is back!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
