well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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