Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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