You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think my fart just growled at me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
